Performance of Love and Beauty
I giggled softly at his squirming, taking a moment to ponder his question before responding. “Well… I like to do things that please Sune. As… much as we Sunites are misunderstood… we’re far more than simply being interested in physical pleasure and concerned about our appearance. Many of us create works of art, or write music, or perform in the service of the Lady Firehair.” I paused, my expression reflecting a deep reverence for my words as I set down my food and carefully pulled out a violin from my bag.
I cradled the violin as if it were a priceless treasure, its age evident in its appearance but adding to its charm and story. “This… this is what I do when I have the time to do so.” My eyes sparkled with a mix of pride and passion, offering him a glimpse into another facet of my life that was as integral to my identity as my faith. “Would you like to hear it?”
For the first time, a hint of shyness crept into my demeanor, a gentle nervousness that softened my usually confident expression. As I held my violin, I suddenly felt vulnerable. It was as if I were exposing a part of my soul for the first time, but it wasn’t. But why now? Why was I so shy in this moment? Maybe… it was because I was sharing something with someone that I really liked.
I watched as Haruki got up and moved to the lounge next to me. He picked it up and moved it about five feet away from me, sitting in it with his legs crossed as he nodded. “Please do.” He said, softly. His attention seemed to be fully dedicated to me in this moment, his gaze meeting my own. I saw him smile, and it stirred something within me.
I nodded and settled the violin under my chin, nestling it against my shoulder with practiced ease. The intimate setting, with only him before me, only heightened the intensity and emotion of the moment. As I drew the bow across the strings, the first note filled the space with a purity that seemed almost tangible, a single, resonant tone that set the foundation for the intricate melody to come.
Each movement of my hands was a study in precision and grace. My fingers glided over the fingerboard, coaxing out a melody that flowed like water — each note clear and deliberate, weaving into the next. The music I created was serene yet profound, its harmonies complex yet accessible, resonating within the small space with an intimacy that felt almost sacred.
The tune I played seemed to tell a story, each phrase a chapter laden with emotion. It was a piece characterized by its serene grace, evoking a sense of peace and otherworldly beauty. As the melody unfolded, it carried with it a feeling of transcendence, as if each note were lifting both performer and listener away from the mundane worries of the world.
I noted in my music that Haruki was utterly captivated by my music, which gave me the confidence to keep going. I couldn’t help but smile at him as I continued, letting the notes flow like a gentle stream in a brook in the forest.
My engagement with my music was complete and utter, my expression one of deep concentration and passion. The bow danced in my hand, sometimes slow and tender, other times swift and decisive, always in perfect harmony with the strings. The violin responded as if it were alive, its wood and strings singing a duet with my human creativity.
As I approached the culmination of the piece, the intensity of my playing grew, the notes soaring higher and with more urgency, before finally resolving into a soft, lingering finish. The last notes hung in the air, a gentle echo of the journey I had just taken.
I heard him clapping after my performance, nothing obnoxious, more so… respectful. “I… h-how was that?” my voice wavered slightly as I carefully placed the violin down, then sat down next to him. My shyness triggered the emergence of my divine form, my wings unfurling and instinctively wrapping around myself, as if to shield me from my own embarrassment.
His smile was warm and genuinely appreciative as he responded to my performance. “Well done, Kazumi. That was excellent.” His words, though few, carried a weight that made my heart skip a beat. I felt a blush warm my cheeks as I nuzzled his cheek gently in response. “T-Thanks…” I murmured, feeling a rush of comfort that allowed my wings to gently recede.
However, as the initial flush of joy subsided, a wave of exhaustion swept over me. I yawned widely, suddenly aware of the lateness of the hour and the duties I had yet to fulfill. “Goodness… it’s… late isn’t it? I need to pray for a couple of hours.” Shifting to a practical tone, I smiled softly at him, curious about his plans while I attended to my spiritual commitments. “What will you do in the meantime?” My gaze lingered, inviting him to share how he might spend the time while I was engaged in prayer. As I awaited his answer, I began to strip from my armor in preparation for my communion with my goddess.
Haruki suddenly turned away as he noticed me stripping, seeming to be uncomfortable. “I think I’ll… probably get some rest. And why do you need to pray for a few hours? Isn’t… ten minutes enough, at most? You’ve done a lot of prayer today already.”
I was a bit confused seeing this discomfort and the quick turn of his gaze away from me. There was no shame in my state after all in accordance with my faith. “Why do you turn away, my dear? You can look, I promise. In fact… I encourage you to do so. Sune tells us to revel in beauty and love after all.” My voice was gentle, reassuring, and carried a hint of playfulness as I invited him to embrace the tenets of my faith that celebrated the beauty and natural form as expressions of divine love and artistry. “As for my prayers… I have to pray for so long so that I can recover my magicks. It’s part of being a cleric.”
He didn’t return my look still, instead keeping his gaze turned away towards the fire as he answered my question. “I don’t look at another in the nude unless I am with them. Its a respect I’ve kept since I was young, with my monastery back home and my upbringing. I may not be as.. well, how is the best way to put it.. emotionally available, but I do know that a person needs to be treated with honor and dignity. Whatever your views are, are yours. But I don’t want to push out of that.. tradition and learning. Especially since we just met.” He seemed more sincere than aggravated, and it seemed as though he truly cared.
Yet… I was taken aback by his response, not anticipating his reluctance. Pausing to gather my thoughts, I carefully formulated my reply. “…I understand. I won’t push you. But… if I may say so, dear one, whether or not you are emotionally available doesn’t matter to me. Love… finds a way, always. As for being with someone…” My voice softened, a gentle chuckle escaping me as I glanced away, a wistful smile playing on my lips. “I wouldn’t mind. I won’t… push. But… the offer is there.”
With a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, I conveyed my understanding and respect for his feelings, affirming my support without pressure. Then, I moved gracefully towards the altar in front of the status of Sune. There, I knelt, arranging my legs neatly beneath me, and lifted my palms upwards in a posture of reverence and prayer.
After about two hours dedicated to my spiritual rituals, I offered my final benediction and prayer to the Lady Firehair. Rising from my devout position, I heard Haruki speak, and I turned around to listen to him, “You’re very genuine. It’s wonderful to hear your prayer and I’m grateful for your hospitality…” he said, catching me off guard. I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a pang of vulnerability hit me.
“I… have to be. I can’t not be genuine. My…mother, the last thing she taught me before she died was to be true to myself. Otherwise, what’s the point?” The words seemed to weigh heavily on me as I mentioned my mother, stirring an unexpected sadness within me. Despite this, I pressed on, managing a gentle smile in an effort to mask the deeper pain.
“…I meant every word, by the way. All of it.” My voice held a firm resolve, a final declaration meant to affirm my sincerity and earnestness to him. I hoped he could see the seriousness in my expression and understand the depth of my commitment to being genuine, a trait deeply ingrained by my mother’s last teachings.
In that moment, I also pondered the possibility that Sune had guided me to this encounter for a reason. Knowing I had been feeling lonely, perhaps this was her way of nudging me out of isolation, leading me to someone who might understand and appreciate the complexities of my spirit. This thought offered a glimmer of hope, suggesting that maybe, just maybe, this meeting was the start of something significant.
And just as I finished those words, I saw him get up and approach me. He caressed my cheek gently, his touch surprisingly tender. “Considering that you’ve gone above and beyond for me, what do you think about getting to know each other better? I’ll meet you half way and… maybe I’ll open up some more?” It was here that I realized what he was asking, and I simply nuzzled back into his hand, a wordless smile upon my lips.
Finally, the door seemed to open to something greater.