When will I reach my goal? My perfection?
It has never been easy to train. Ever since I was little, from the young age of five, my elders had already seen my agility. As easy as it is to tell for them, it was never a breeze for me. The tests? Sure, mediocre work. None of my peers or those older than me could keep up when I reached my teens. When I was an adult, I became the youngest mentor for my village.
The real problem was trying to get along. To meet the eyes of those who were supposed to be my friends. To truly give respect to my teachers, instead of nodding and doing the work with no more words.
Its not that I didn’t care. I did, truly. I just didn’t want to extend the time it took to talk about nonsense, things I knew already, and I was not interested in what was unknown to me. What mattered to me was getting stronger. Becoming faster. Finding myself honed in my training.
This might be.. what’s that word, cliché? Its difficult to see someone in their eyes when they haven’t broken the same wood that I have a thousand times with little struggle. To shake hands with someone that can’t maintain their grip without reeling back. It makes me feel better about myself, but at the same time, maybe I’m truly a monster in similar flesh?
Leaving my village was the best thing to do. There was more in the world that I needed to fight. To place fear in those who threatened my home and those around it. Eventually, I became the threat, but at least I knew the side I was on. I made good money. I had no need to sleep on the streets. Guilds wanted to sponsor me, and every time I turned them down. Being a lone wolf on mercenary contracts was simply easier.
I didn’t need anyone, and all of my work as done alone. Sometimes I had to just walk up to my target and they would realize I wouldn’t give up on my mark until they kneeled. The other marks would be worthy foes. Those who would test my prowess with theirs, and eventually I would win. Rarely would I find myself needing to back out, and if so, the parties insisting on tagging along would help me. Yet, they were mostly just bystanders with weapons and magic.
Eventually, I found myself at my worst challenge. It was only about two years ago that I had to take down some warlord in their own temple. I didn’t have much information, but the city’s guard told me that they were no match for me. And they weren’t. I found him after a small trek to the their country on my own, yet there was something that I certainly wasn’t expecting.
Her.
My wife, Kazumi. Of course, she wasn’t my wife then. She was actually there at the temple as well, trying to aid this warlord. She wasn’t on their side, but just helping them with something that was genuinely irrelevant to my own mission, and she interfered with my attempt to take him down.
And this woman was my first ever… real challenge. Someone who looked into my eyes during our skirmish and saw more to me than just a fighter. And that scared me.
Now, I’m “happily” married. That’s the term that is used for marriages. And I think I’ve finally found out what happiness meant. Unfortunately, this will be the biggest test for the rest of my life, truly embracing happiness.